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| LETTERS TO KARA |
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Who is Kara?
Kara is my journal of 14 years, named after the heroine of Scott O' Dell's book, the Island of the Blue Dolphins. In 1998, parts of my journal were published in my first book, Kara: Letters and Stories. Four years ago, Kara, which also means face in Filipino was published online here.The journal, like my life, is undergoing change. This is only a continuum. |
| Just Yesterday |
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| Long Long Ago |
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| Inspiration |
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| Desperation |
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| Kindred Spirits |
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| Gratitude |
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Text and photos by Shelley Jo Rojas Saracin, unless otherwise specified.
The reader may lift poems, essays, or quotes (in part on whole) from this journal for personal use,
provided that he or she give due credit to the author whenever and wherever said text may be used. |
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| 26 July 2008 |
| Cooking Rice |
Dear Kara,
I was appalled at my student's statement yesterday.
We were having a technical writing lesson, and our activity concerning clarity and accuracy was for them to map out the details of how to cook rice the Filipino way. They were supposed to address the situation as if the person they were writing to spoke English only, and did not know how to cook rice at all.
After a few moments of hilarious explanation and debate with the class (yes, they found it funny that I asked them to write about cooking rice; mind you, this was class composed of 95% males), one of my students remarked "But I don't know how to cook rice."
Their population being from the lower economic bracket, I thought he was joking. How can a 19-year old male from a lower-class urban family not know how to cook rice? Did he have a maid at home or something? Even my youngest bother knows how to cook rice, and he's also nineteen.
After noticing that indeed he was not making any move to begin writing his "recipe," I asked him again if he really did not know how to cook rice. "What kind of food do you know how to cook?" I asked him. He simply did not know how. Nada. Nothing.
"Whoa," I told him half jokingly, "Kawawa naman mapapangasawa mo." (I pity the woman you will marry.) I thought about my beloved brothers, who knew how to cook rice, and my dearest dad, who cooks for my mom whenever she is too tired or is sick. I thought of the male friends I knew who cooked for the sheer joy of it, or who cooked for the women they adored.
Then came the clincher. He replied, "Kaya nga po ako mag-aasawa eh, para may magluluto at maglalaba para sa akin." (Well, that's the reason why I will marry, so that I will have someone to cook and wash clothes for me.) And this he said to a slightly feminist (but fully-ready-to-submit-to-someone) female teacher, ME!
For this my male student, it was time for another type of lesson. One that he will have to figure out as he earns more years on earth. I pointed to the only two female students in class, and said: "Hindi lang ang mag-luto at ang mag-laba ang kayang gawin nang isang babae. Kaya nag-aaral itong mga kaklase mo...hindi lang para gawin mong tagalaba." (Cooking and washing clothes are not the only things a woman can do. Your classmates are here in school to study to learn how to do other things, not only to wash clothes.)
I have no qualms about a woman washing clothes, or cooking, because I do both whenever I have time, and during weekends. I do these two "female tasks" out of love for my brothers, out of love for my parents, and well, sometimes out of enjoyment for the activities too. But for a young male student to relegate these two tasks as the major roles of a female is degrading.
Probably his mother was "forced" into this role by his father, who, like him, knows of only a handful things a woman can and must do. Hence these are his perceptions: that a woman will cook and wash clothes for him. That is the only role he can imagine for a woman, and that is tragic.
Yes, a woman will find joy in serving her family (married or not) as I do. But there are many ways and various roles that a woman may take up in order to equally serve her family and find herself complete. She may work and find acheivement in her career, she may study and excel in her field. She may choose to cook and clean, and take responsibility for her children. She may choose to do a combination of excelling at work or in the home. she may choose to be single and value community and spirituality. She may serve others abroad and be a missionary. She may work in her country.
A woman may take up one of these roles, or she may choose to take up a variety of roles to suit her family's needs. None of these roles are better that the other. What is important is that a woman is able to serve a greater good than herself.
I myself choose to work, because I know I am able to serve my family and my society in this way, in my current circumstance. But even though I work, I still serve my family by keeping house on weekends, and by doing what I can when I am home from work. Currently, my mother does the same, because this is the role that works best for us. She did not always play the role she is playing now (entrepreneur), but she has discovered that she had to change roles in order to better serve the people she loves. That has worked for her.
Time will come when I will probably marry and have children of my own. When that time comes, my roles will also change. I will choose to accept new roles (wife and mother), thereby letting go, temporarily, of another role (career woman). Neither of these instances will lessen my worth as a woman because in each and every role, I choose to find my fulfillment.
And quite frequently, in both circumstances, I will still choose to take up the role of cooking rice.Labels: essays, me, musings, teaching, writing |
posted by shing @ 9:47 AM  |
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| 23 July 2008 |
| My First (eBay Experience) |
Dear Kara, It was my first eBay purchase, and frankly, although I was excited at the prospect of having my own UP Commemorative Bill, I was a little apprehensive about the way I was going to get it. I kept imagining all the horrors of meeting a monster seller from an online shop, but after after a few messages and after checking out my seller's profile on eBay, I felt safer. Of course, I took a few precautions, like letting my brother know where and when we were going to meet, and giving my bro the seller's phone number, just in case. Also, I chose a good, safe public spot for us to meet (near security guards), and well, less than a week later, today, I met my seller, and am now the proud owner of the Limited Print UP Centennial Bill. Whee! Turns out, the seller, Hermrei, was also from UP (student number 95-) and I was glad for that. We exchanged a few alma mater pleasantries, and then he gave me my bill. He even included a story about the UP experience with it. I'm really happy with the newest addition to my bill and coin collection. Happier still at the thought of my first eBay experience having gone well. :) Labels: online activity, UP |
| posted by shing @ 8:55 PM |
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| 16 July 2008 |
| Teaching Hypothesis |
 (When bored, this is what we teachers do: pose for photos! With me are some of the members of the English Department.)
Dear Kara,
The the course of my rather young teaching career, I have discovered that, not only are teachers actors, they are also scientists.
Yes, I teach the same course everyday, sometimes to two, ever three different sets of students. However, not every lesson and not every classroom is the same.
Whenever I start to teach a new lesson to a group of students, I always try to gauge their reactions, and to gauge whether or not they respond to how I have presented my lesson. And if my methodd works for this particular class, it doesnt mean that it will work for another class.
When I first began teaching, I noticed that after my first shot at a new lesson, I would always unconsciously incorporate tweaks the nest time I entered a new classroom with the intent to teach the same lesson. I would take stock of the reactions from my previous class, and use the methods that elicited positive ones.
Now, a year into teaching, I have also noticed that the same lesson I taught a year ago with the same method may not be entirely suited for a class with a different background. More than a few times early this semester, I have found my mind always on the move looking for a new way to present a lesson, and sometimes, I would even have to make adjustments in the middle of class, only because a method I thought would work wasn't exactly working, hence the need to improvise.
Mind you, Kara, I really do not have any units on Education. My background consists of administrative work, events organizing, editing and writing, and mostly intellectual paperwork. I find that I am able to apply different methods (the terms for which I really do not know of) only by trying t put myself in the shoes of my students, and by readin up on some fun ways to encourage them to participate.
I would not want myself to be bored stiff into the last century
by my lectures, hence,in my classes I always try to teach, discuss, move, create, challenge and experiment...experiment...experiment.
That my students can learn something through me today is always a hypothesis. Labels: essays, me, musings, teaching |
| posted by shing @ 6:11 AM |
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| 09 July 2008 |
| Road Sign: The Right Way |
Dear Kara,
Today, Ms. Janet, a long-time English Instructor who has been doing her PhD for some time now, came up to our "subdivision" and said, "I'm depressed." Apparently, she was tired and didn't want to teach, and added to that, she had quite a few readings to go through for her PhD classes.
I suppose if she feels that way once in a while, then I'm allowed to feel that way too; it is normal, even human.
One of the downsides to accomplishing your dream alone (read: single) is that you rarely find encouragement from someone else, someone who sticks by your side through thick and thin. I feel that since I am alone, I'm not really able to share much about my frustrations and dealings as I'm journeying through this path. Nor am I able to revel in the fact that my efforts mean something to someone else. They are only meaningful to me.
I'm am only thankful that there have been signs that constantly remind me that I am going in the right direction.
1) Wherever I go, I seem to be meeting the same people over and over, and these are the very same people who have inspired me to pursue this academic dream. A few weeks ago, I ran into Toym, my MAP 6 Classmate from AIM in UP. He is also doing his Masters in Fine Arts, and is now finishing his cognate courses.
2) Each step I take seems to bring a bit more opportunity. Aside from my new experiences teaching at a private college, today, I also ran into Grace Gomez in the UP-MRT jeepney. She was one of those who encouraged me to pursue higher education N-O-W that I'm single, and today, aside from giving extra advice about employment possibilities, she added that she would refer some of her students to me, for any editing jobs. (Yay!)
3) I know for a fact that I'm going in the right direction because every now and then, aside from the positive reinforcement from my mentors and close friends, I have encountered discouragement. For the past three weeks, I have wondered why I chose to work so hard and study all at the same time. Sometimes, I wonder what keeps me going, or what the purpose of all this hard work is. I get tired too. I too feel a surge of discouragement, disappointment, and exhaustion. However, when someone asks me if I'm happy doing what I do, I thoughtfully answer, Yes, and its true.
4) So many people have noticed that ever since I up and went to pursue my academic dream, in spite of my occasional weight gain, stress pimples, and sleepless nights, I have never looked more fresh and glowing. Maybe it's because every workday is at once a challenge and a comfort. A challenge because I am challenged by the things I learn, and the dealings I have with my students and peers, and a comfort because I am in the company of people who cheer me on in my dream.
Yet these signs do not stop me from praying that someone will soon walk this road with me.Labels: essays, me, musings, teaching, UP |
| posted by shing @ 8:37 PM |
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